Hazards Of Being Me

Three weeks ago, I contracted a terrible cold that left me practically deaf in one ear. The doctor put me on a decongestant, but it had the side effect of making me feel like I was on speed. By the time I was halfway through my afternoon lecture, I was ready to climb on top of the class table just to make a point about, I don’t know, characterization. Last week, I cracked two fillings and had to visit the dentist and be lectured about wearing my night-guard every night. I have another appointment today because I broke a temporary crown on a plantain chip. And this weekend, I came down with that terrible flu that’s been making the rounds. I wish I could live in a novel. Have you noticed how book people never get the flu and rarely ever have to go to the dentist?