The Grouch.
I’ve injured my back over four weeks ago and it doesn’t seem to be getting better. You name it, I’ve tried it: Creams, pills, exercise, no exercise, drinking lots of water, sleeping on the floor…nothing seems to work. Or rather, my back gets better for a few days and then it starts hurting again. At the moment, I’m in pain again. So I bought a heating pad, and that alleviates it a little, but I can’t very well have that on for 10 hours straight. The chiropractor cracked a few bones and adjusted some muscles, but mostly she sent me off with this advice: don’t sit. What? How can I not sit? What am I supposed to do all day? So of course, I sit. I have to work, after all. And so of course it hurts, and I get crankier. Maybe I should get a lectern and write standing up, a la Nabokov.